NurseSheGirl

I cannot seem to stop these tears, they fall throughout the day,
And nothing that I do can make this aching go away.

They say that crying brings relief, that sorrow drains with rain,
But every tear just leaves me numb, still drowning in the pain.

I hate this place between us where I never seem to know,
If I should keep on holding tight or if you want to let me go.

You haven’t left, but you’re not here; I’m stranded in between,
Still grieving something beautiful that hasn’t quite been seen.

I envy how you carry on and somehow live your day,
While I am barely functioning and crying mine away.

You work, you laugh, you eat, you breathe, you somehow carry on,
While everything inside of me keeps screaming something’s gone.

I wonder if you think of me while going through your day,
Or if this hurts you half as much as what you cannot say.

I hate that I still want your arms whenever I start to break,
When you’re the only person who can cause this awful ache.

I hate that you’re the comfort that my broken heart runs to,
When every shattered piece of it is breaking over you.

And underneath the love I feel, one thought keeps breaking through,
What if I never got the chance to fall in love with you?

For if your name meant nothing, just a name I’d never heard,
Instead of one that skips my heart with every fucking word.

Of if I’d never known your kiss or how your hands could feel,
Then losing all of it would never feel this real.

If I’d never learned your scent or memorized your face,
I wouldn’t notice every moment you’re missing from this place.

Before you, I could wake without this aching in my chest,
Before you, I could close my eyes and somehow fucking rest.

Before you, I survived without your love to pull me through,
I didn’t know how badly I could need someone like you.

I’m terrified you’ll tell me that our story reached its end,
To step outside this limbo where my heart can never mend.

But heartbreak has its mercy; eventually pain lets go,
But how the hell am I supposed to heal from what I do not know?

So here I sit between two answers, begging tears to let me be,
As you’re moving on throughout your day, just living normally.

And no….I do not wish that our paths had never crossed,
As I would never know how much of me could feel this lost.

I’m thankful I was given the chance to meet someone like you,
I just never knew that loving you would make me feel sad too.