NurseSheGirl

I. Denial

She tells herself that he is near,
That nothing truly changed out here.
Perhaps he only needs some space,
Then soon she’ll feel his warm embrace.

She reads old footprints in the ground,
And swears he’ll surely come around.
This isn’t ending. Not like this.
Not after each touch and kiss.

The forest whispers what she knows,
But still she begs the wind that blows:
He hasn’t left. He still is mine.
We’re only lost between the pines.

II. Anger

Then sorrow catches fire inside,
And all the tears she tried to hide
Become a storm beneath her skin
How could he let this happen then?

How can he say that she may stay
While he decides along the way?
How can he hold her heart and say,
“I’ll figure out what I want someday.”

She kicks the stones, she breaks the twigs,
She curses every hope she gives.
If love was real, then fucking fight.
Don’t leave me crying here tonight.

For anger isn’t hatred grown
It’s love that cannot bear alone.
It’s grief that screams into the trees:
You said you wanted this with me.

III. Bargaining

Then anger fades, and pleading starts,
The cruel arithmetic of hearts.
I’ll ask for less. I’ll give him room.
I’ll wait alone beneath the moon.

I’ll fix the things that frightened him.
I’ll make myself more safe within.
I’ll prove my heart. I’ll learn. I’ll grow.
Just please don’t be the one to go.

She counts each moment, word, and sign,
Rewrites the story line by line.
As though the perfect thing to say
Could somehow make this man still stay.

But love cannot be earned through pain,
Nor summoned simply by the rain.
And no amount that she can give
Can choose for him the life he’ll live.

IV. Depression

And then comes quiet, not relief
The heavy, hollow kind of grief.
The forest loses every hue;
The paths feel empty without two.

She doesn’t chase. She doesn’t plead.
She finally stops to feel the need
The aching wish to simply be
Held by someone who chooses she.

She misses kisses, warmth, his scent,
The little world where hours were spent.
She mourns not only what has been,
But everything she’d pictured then.

He still matters. That’s the ache.
There’s nothing false for grief to take.
She loved him deeply. That was true.

And love can hurt
when love can’t choose.

V. Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean she’s glad.
Or make the ending half as sad.
It doesn’t mean she shuts the door
As if she don’t love anymore.

It simply means she understands
She cannot hold him with both hands
While he decides if she’s the one,
Not while she slowly comes undone.

So underneath the ancient trees,
She lets herself fall to her knees.
She cries until there’s nothing more
To bargain with the forest for.

And when she rises, soaked in rain,
She doesn’t leave because of pain.
She simply chooses not to chase
A man uncertain of his place.

If someday through the trees he comes,
Not halfway there, not almost done,
But certain that he wants her too,
Then she can choose what she will do.

Until that day, she’ll walk ahead,
Though every step feels filled with dread.
Because acceptance isn’t “I don’t care.”
It’s “I love you…too much to bear.”