NurseSheGirl

September 23, 2026

I hate that a moment can still ruin my day,
That one little glance can pull peace away.
I hate that I notice the places you stand,
The smiles you give, the moves of your hand.

I know things are different. I’m starting to heal.
But knowing a thing doesn’t change how I feel.
Because once I was watching and waiting for you,
Trying to decipher each thing you would do.

I lived for your warmth and I feared when it fled,
And now your days fill hers with laughter instead.
Maybe there’s nothing. Maybe there’s more.
Maybe it’s none of my business…for sure.

But it isn’t the thought of her being right there,
It’s watching you enter, when you no longer care.
You walk in the room and make sure you are seen,
While I’m treated like I don’t exist on the scene.

You’ll talk to the others, you’ll laugh and you’ll stay,
You’ll find every person but me on your way.
You’ll stand close enough that I know you’re around,
Yet somehow for me there is never a sound.

And maybe you’re trying to draw a clear line,
To show me your world is no longer with mine.
But from where I’m standing, it cuts like a knife,
I was made into nothing – just out of your life.

If distance is truly the thing that you need,
Then please take your distance completely from me.
Don’t hover beside me, then act like I’m air,
Don’t make yourself known just to show you don’t care.

If you really don’t want to cause me more pain,
Then why keep appearing again and again?
Why step in my orbit, then make it so clear,
You’ll acknowledge them all as if I’m not here?

I don’t know your reasons; I can’t read your mind,
But from my own side it can feel so unkind.
It feels so deliberate, pointed and cruel,
Like silence itself has become your new tool.

And maybe that isn’t what you mean it to be,
But intention can’t soften what happens in me.
If leaving was meant to protect you somehow,
Then leave me the space, so you can heal now.

Because I could survive if you simply were gone,
I have already hurt, I have learned to move on.
But seeing you near me while shutting me out
Keeps feeding the questions I’m starting to doubt.

That’s the part that lingers – it’s not about her.
It’s forgetting the things that I thought that we were.
She didn’t make promises, pull me in tight,
Then leave me deciphering silence at night.

She didn’t agree to remain as good friends,
Then completely remove any trace of amends.
So maybe my anger is grief wearing red,
A jealous old ghost making noise in my head.

Because somewhere inside me, some foolish part,
Still flinches to picture you giving your heart.
But she can have every smile you give,
I have my own life I’m learning to live.
I won’t make another my sworn enemy
Because you and I weren’t what we thought we would be.

You were never mine, so she’s not my fight.
I don’t need to watch you, to make myself right.
Whatever you’re doing, whoever you choose,
I refuse to believe that it means that I lose.

So let her be nameless. Let you just be you.
I’ll stop writing stories I can’t prove are true.
Then you can go wandering wherever you will,
I’m done chasing shadows. I’m learning to heal.